My girlfriend's father has just been diagnosed with prostate cancer. What should I do to help her?
We've been dating for little more than three years, and I'm on a somewhat familiar basis with her family. The doctors don't know in what stage the cancer is and he'll be going through testing throughout the month. She's pretty broken up about it, but I'm not particularly sure how to go about comforting her.
Cancer - 4 Answers
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1 :
This sounds like a situation where she only needs time to comfort her. My moms bf was diagnosed with cancer, and was given like 2 months to live, but he's been around for over 2 years. She's grown to live with it but will be crushed when he dies. Luckily, there are many times of cancers, and among them prostate cancer is one of the least fatal.
2 :
With all the modern medicine, it is just about curable. Know someone who had it and is fine. They really need to look at ALL the options before they decide which treatment to use.Some of them can leave him wearing adult pads for the rest of his life and with no ability to get an erection. Do some homework. As for you, be that shoulder to cry on when she needs it . God bless
3 :
I'm sorry to hear about your girlfriend's dad. The best thing you can really do is try to be there for her. if she wants to talk then a good listener can make the world of a difference. you don't need to have all the answers to her questions but simply showing her that you want to support her in any possible way should be more than enough.
4 :
It's wonderful that you care so much about both your girlfriend and her father. I was diagnosed 18 months ago and had surgery just over a year ago. All indications are that I beat it, and I've found that the side effects are livable. The best thing I can think of to do is talk: with your girlfriend, her father and your other friends and family. Let them know you're willing to help in whatever way you can and be sure to be careful about doing what they want you to do rather than what you want to do for them. Different people handle this differently. Some want others to know what's going on. Others want to keep it to themselves. I chose not to hide anything. What I found was that as more people knew about it, men who had already beaten prostate cancer came out of the woodwork to support me. Some of them I already knew (but didn't know about their cancer) and others were strangers who became friends. Knowing that they had already gone through this and beaten it was a huge help. This is a scary time. I went through weeks, hell months of mental turmoil before I figured out what I wanted to do. I suppose people could do this alone, but I don't see how. The best printed information I found was Dr. Patrick Walsh's Guide to Surviving Prostate Cancer (2007 Edition). It's a massive book. I found it in the library but eventually got a copy of my own. I think every man should read it whether they've already been diagnosed or not. You may want to suggest this to your girlfriend's father, but don't be surprised if he's not ready for it. And of course if either you or he want to contact me, I'd be more than happy to share my experience with you.
5 :
Greetings! I have recently been diagnosed with Prostate cancer. The process of testing helped to eliminate guessing. My consultation after the test to discuss options, took away much of the apprehensive thoughts. It seemed that once the news was out, many of my friends had stories and experiences. Some of their comments were helpful but some would have been better left unsaid. I think you can best encourage your loved one by letting her know that you are there for her if she need to cry or talk. Just be her friend. You do not need to become an expert on the cancer. Encourage her to love on her dad with words of encouragement and love. A hug and a kiss on the cheek will do wonders. Dad needs the chance to become his own expert on the subject and the confidence that his family will support the decisions he makes about a course of treatment. This is how I feel. Sincerely, Chas G-a future cancer survivor
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